Is That Love?

When do you know you are in Love? Does the lightning really hit you everytime that you feel true love? I don’t really have an answer. That’s why I am asking you folks. Now that college life is showing me some of the finer details of life I’m really, as in real, confused. I have heard all about the hormonal thing and the attraction and all, but how do you really know whether its love or not? What if its just another passing fancy like the one you get when you go window shopping?

Ok, lets shoot at the heart. Surveys say 60% of relations that you find before getting out of college don’t withstand the test of life. Its like a dialogue from ‘Dan in Real Life’, when Marie says: “To be that certain, to feel that much love. You are so lucky”. The bottom point is even in this world where you ‘Stay Connected’, it has become that much more difficult for you to find the real ‘One’. And the real tragedy is when you get so sure about someone, they just can’t be yours either. Life and love really plays some cruel tricks at times.

Now I will give you another situation. A guy tells out his love to a girl. She says she doesn't have any interests in such things. Next thing you see, she is gladly in love with the guy's best friend, ok- one of his best friends, and the guy accepts the situation. Do you think he should have said something in that matter? But if it is love they have found out, as they know it, wouldn’t it be better to take some pointed dialogues from colleagues and let them get on with their life?

Bleeding hearts, broken noses, and still more broken relations. I think it would be better if you don’t go around looking for love. Let love find you and yeah, before its too late anyway. Hoping for the best….


Signing out!

Painting red in the elections….

When I was really young, like in 5th or 6th grade, I used to wonder what all this fuss about the elections was. Now I am going to cast my first vote, and still haven’t figured it out completely, though in a different way.

Why do we have to vote for someone who we see only every 4 years? Just ask yourself, when was the last time you saw the MP from your place? The answer would probably be last elections. And they are way too old around here, that even the poster makers can’t make them look good. These are the thoughts of many a middle class youths. 

Ok ok…I know, all are old arguments. Then again there is always that zeal within the youth to work for change and we want to see the elections as something we can use to create a change. But what are the options we have? 

Here, in Kerala, there has always been a cyclic nature to the parties being elected. If it’s the communists one time, next time they make way for the congress people. Does that point to the inefficiency of the people who govern us or is it something to do with the people? There is never a talk about the BJP getting elected from here. We are secular enough to not allow those vermins to come up here, whatever be the case at the centre is.

Then, between the communists and congress, this time I think communists are in for a good shock. You can just feel it in the pulse of the common people here. Everyone has something bad to say about the government of present. Not the one at the centre, but here in Kerala.

There are three things that mainly comes up- the internal fighting in the party, the accused alliance with the communalist PDP and the general rise in price of commodities. The last argument maybe a little harsh, but no one can say that the other two haven’t been brought on them by themselves.

There have always been many fake communists within the party, those who preach communism in daylight and behave like bourgeois in darkness. The left will be well rid of such poisonous breeds, but alas, all the bickering between the so called ‘official faction’ and VS group (supposed), have not rubbed off well on people here. They are tired of them trying to eat each other up rather than do something good for the state.

As for PDP, the communists should never have gone on to make an allegiance with such a communalist group. The leaders should’ve known better seeing that they had such good results last time around without any public allegiances with any of such communalist groups.

One can say for sure, even in the middle and upper class, there are people in Kerala who still truly believe in communist ideals. Whoever says communism is a fading phenomenon in the world should realize that though confined in majority only to 3-4 states in India, communism has never lost its roots there, and never will. If communism can survive over 5 decades of suppression and pessimism, and still have a very strong base, it certainly is not a fading phenomenon.

I believe in communism, but I hate many of the so called communist parties. I hate their political gimmicks, I hate many of the leaders, I hate their governance sometimes, but I have faith in the ideals of communism. That, I say, will never change. I am going to vote for the first time in my life, and it feels good to know that I have some responsibility vested on me.

I don’t care much for the system anyway. I know I can’t do something big enough to change the world, but I can still be the light in a small dark room. Do those small things in life with which you can make those small changes. Help others and hope for a better tomorrow. 

The Motivation or the lack of it

At last, I have run myself to a halt. After all the sound and fury of three years in a college, I’ve no more will to move on. The other day I was reading this post at the lineofsight and I suddenly felt it all coming back again. The monotony of following life like everyone else, the endless exams, the chitchats and doing all those things that has absolute meaning at all. I am seriously considering dropping out, but 3 years of my life, just wasted. Maybe this is a phase every college student passes through, maybe it’s just me.

The college is good, but not good enough. The friends are amazing, but they are not quite there. The life is fantastic, but even that word has lost its meaning. Day after tomorrow is another exam day, the music is blaring in my ear and I have no intention of taking up those books again. What do we all work towards anyway? If you look at life from my point of view right now, the answer is obvious- nothing, nothing at all. Ok, maybe I am being very pessimistic here, but I am feeling that oneness about whomever it was that said- 'I was born intelligent, but education ruined me'.

A friend of mine once told me, all this wont last forever, those we feel are very close to us won’t even be here tomorrow, but it’s those moments that we spent with them that make life special. Don’t mistake me, I am really enjoying my college life, but of late, there is this sinking feeling within me about what it would be after all this? Is it because I am on the brink of entering my last year at college? Is it because I am torn between love and friendship? I don’t really know, but then again I can’t understand lot of things lately anyway. Love, friends, chitchats are all part of college life, they tell me. Well, let me introduce to you some strange characters I meet around here. Not in this post, it would then be too long.

I haven’t felt like writing in a long time, but now I think I should let myself out someway. I can’t blurt out all these feelings in a civilized society like ours, can I? I don’t really know if I will ever post again, but for now I am searching for answers that seem so far away from me.